Take boys out of the picture for a moment (and by “picture” I mean “screen”) and read into the minds of your 600+ remaining friends (by “minds” I mean “statuses,” by “friends” I mean “acquaintances you accepted in order to increase your online presence,” and by “600” I didn’t mean to point out that you have far more guy friends than girl friends – it’s important to keep track of them; for your girl friends’ sakes of course).
What do you see?
In my case, it’s a lot of strong Beyonce tributes, quotes from sappy Notebook-like movies, seemingly vague Taylor Swift lyrics we all know are directed at the ex, and most importantly, “candid” profile pictures that were planned out a week in advanced and poured over in photoshop for at least as long.
So why do we (yes, if you couldn’t tell at this point, the author projecting the words on your screen is a girl) put so much more time and effort into our profiles when all we’re really trying to do is 1) win a guy over, 2) make an ex-guy regret his current single status, 3) bring multiple guys’ attention to ourselves so they knew where to find us, or 4) any variation of the above three (as long as the word “guy” is mentioned at least once)?
In my “expert” opinion (“expert” in this case is defined by a complicated analysis of the number of times the opposite sex was brought up in the above paragraph), we girls have two main recreational uses for social media: an outlet to vent about boys, and a means of finding the next boys to vent–or rave–about.
If only there was an external platform that addressed the boy related garble of facebook – helping girls around the world get to know the guys they’ve got their eyes on before they turn to vent about them. Oh wait – there IS.
A recent invite to “LuLu” not only brought me to the floor laughing (remember ROFLcopter?) but also inspired in me a feeling of momentary relief: now we have a software driven machine to help us sort through the heartthrobs, the heartbreakers, the home wreckers, the secret gays, and the very rare, very sought after, sweethearts. But the relief was momentary for the same reason – now we have a SOFTWARE DRIVEN MACHINE to help us sort through our men!
LuLu is a survey and data driven social networking site created entirely for straight women to rate their male facebook friends. In other words, if you rely on your killer bod to get girls past your attitude issues, you’re in for a surprise: every female friend of a friend all over the internet will soon know what’s behind that pretty face. Someone will undoubtedly be crucified, and you better hope that someone isn’t you. (You know you should be worried if you instantly click the following link to see how you can remedy your current image: http://www.onlulu.com/)
The steps are easy – for a girl. For a guy – good luck. There’s nothing you can do. The girls log in through facebook, qualify themselves as your ex, your current lover, your hookup, co-worker, or even “just” as a friend, and begin to assign numbers 1 through 10 to your best and worst attributes: ambition, appearance, commitment, humor, first kiss, and oh so much more:
And the best part is that the guys can even see their evaluations – they just can’t alter them. As the creator of LuLu (Alexandra Chong) stated: “Should a guy not do well in a particular category, they can change their behavior.”
Although there is very little data on Lulu because of its early development stage, I can’t help but hope university students hit the ground running and make whatever Lulu can be the ultimate online diary every girl has dreamed of.
But with or without global recognition, LuLu seems to be reminding me that I should keep my ears perked for the pebbles Mr. Right will be throwing at my dorm room window. Any minute now. He’ll be there.
Note to reader: female stereotypes of facebook posts were intentionally exaggerated for entertainment purposes – examples brought up in the article do not necessarily reflect the reality of female social media in its entirety.